Why Black Women Cannot Be Vulnerable Leaders
According to The Harvard Business Review, vulnerability is an essential component of effective leadership. Years ago, when I was in corporate America, I was once advised that I should be more open with my team about my doubts, share my mistakes and be more vulnerable when communicating with them. I had an immediate visceral reaction to this advice: “No way!”
African-American women comprise only 5.3% of managerial and professional roles at the corporate level, are just 2.4% of board directors at Fortune 500 companies (as of 2020) and earn 64.5 cents for every dollar their white male counterparts make. That, for me, is the definition of vulnerable. So how could I consider confessing my insecurities to my team when I already felt underrepresented and insecure as an African-American woman in Corporate America?
In an informal poll of my network, I found a shared skepticism around this topic among other African-American women. The HBR article offered a definition of vulnerable leadership: “For leaders, and aspiring leaders especially, this means being transparent and modeling vulnerability for your team. When you lead by example, you open the door for people with less formalized power to safely emulate your behavior.”
As a good friend in the technology industry shared, “Being vulnerable is layered, and it won't look the same for everyone based on org culture, where they are in their career, etc.“ As Black women, we need to be highly aware of our environment which makes it less likely that we will exhibit vulnerability in front of large groups where our behavior can be subject to wide interpretations.
Safety was a key word for a friend who works at a digital agency. Despite her seniority and years of experience, she believes that “(t)he corporate environment has never been safe for me as a Black woman, so I am hesitant to throw out “feeling words” and expose the deepest parts of myself when the environment is not safe.”
According to the HBR article, a safe environment can be critical to enabling employees’ willingness “to take creative risks, share their perspectives without fear of a consequence, and make valuable contributions that can only be expressed within a culture that values trust and inclusion.” Yet, if as leaders, Black women don’t feel it’s safe to be vulnerable, this means our task becomes more difficult. And, if we aren’t feeling safe, how do we create a safe environment for our teams?
A friend who is a DEI consultant shared, “I agree that for me as a Black woman sharing my personal and professional struggles is scary and often feels like I am asked to do so to educate those around me on the "Black" experience. Very rarely has sharing my struggles at work come with authentic [demonstrations] of care and problem-solving.” In other words, vulnerability doesn’t mean there will be help. In fact, some have faced consequences. As one woman related, “For example, as a chemist and marketer in the pharmaceutical industry, my outreach around ‘needing assistance or support' was immediately taken as a complaint. In some instances, I was perceived as a person who couldn't 'handle' the role.” As the writer Alexa Martin put it, Black women aren’t “living a life of privilege where mistakes aren’t the end of the world and second chances seem endless.”
So, it’s a conundrum: on the one hand, research is telling us that leaders are more effective when they are vulnerable, yet Black women feel they cannot show vulnerability without consequence. What’s the solution?
When I’m unsure what to do, I think about just taking one more step. In this case, Black women may want to focus on creating safe spaces for their teams even if they don’t feel safe enough to share themselves. This could be as simple as acknowledging that some may need to give voice to concerns and taking the time to listen intently. Or, it could be giving your team permission to take time off when needed, without explanation. In one of my last corporate roles, I noticed that the new team I was leading had a habit of explaining to everyone not just when they were taking vacation, but also telling everyone exactly where they were going and why. I flipped that script: I made sure the team knew that their time off was their time off to do with whatever they wished. It wasn’t necessary for them to justify or explain it. I had more than one person reach out and thank me for that. It was a simple step, but it was meaningful.
There’s a lesson here for allies and organizations as well. As my friend in the tech industry said, "For allies, creating a safe space for Black women to be vulnerable is one of the most important things you can do. We won't forget it.” She went on to say, “the article…didn’t touch as much on the parameters needed for vulnerability to be well received…“ A fair point and indicative of the work needed by organizations to address. Where is the organization that is willing to dig deep to ensure a safe space for all historically marginalized employees to express vulnerability? It will take an examination of your culture, a real willingness to hear from those employees and the courage to make change where needed.
I agree that anything that humanizes you as a leader is a good thing and that includes vulnerability. However, we need to consider the unique ways in which advice like this applies to and impacts those who are already operating from a vulnerable position. There can’t be a one-size-fits-all approach and that means we will have to leave room for interpretation and grace.